Today’s reading is from November 8, page 313 of Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II.

I often find myself giving to others with strings attached. The gifts, in my mind, allow me to expect certain behaviors in return. Often, I’m disappointed when those expectations aren’t met. This couldn’t have been more true than when my alcoholic was active. If I cleaned the house thoroughly, would she slow down with her drinking? If I told her to take it easy, I’d make sure the kids got to their activities, would she see my love for her and stop hiding bottles from me?

Of course not.

When living with an alcoholic or addict, it is easy to fall into your own sickness. Your perspective is easily distorted. It didn’t matter what angles I sought, my alcoholic was going to remain active regardless of what gifts I provided. Recovery would only happen when she was ready to get help on her own terms.

Today’s reading reminds us of the simple pleasure of a loving act without expectations allows us the greatest reward of giving.

As I will leave each post - If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.