What Is Anger And How Does It Affect My Recovery?
Tuesday, December 30th, 2008We’ve all experienced anger, but what causes this emotion?
The other day my wife forwarded me a quote: “Anger and resentments are masks for fears.”
My initial reaction was to feel that my wife was trying to tell me something - something that I didn’t want to hear.
Perhaps this quote was hitting a little to close to home for me.
In reality, this was a “quote of the day” from a website my wife subscribes to, so perhaps it was something greater than my wife trying to make a point - that is usually how it works with daily readings and recovery literature.
photo credit: h.koppdelaney
I am often quick to become irritable and angry when things aren’t going exactly as I see fit. When I feel this way - it is usually the controlling side of my codependency rearing its head.
I used to get angry and not know what to do with it. I would feel stuck which would lead to even more intense feelings - a cycle that could derail my personal recovery, my attempt at getting healthy again.
Why do I feel this way and what can I do to make it stop?
Today I can think through and try to rationalize what is driving my mood; If I am angry - I need to figure out what I am afraid of.
Once I am able to identify my fear, I usually realize that it is not as bad as I had subconsciously made it out to be.
I ask myself if it is worth giving up my serenity - it usually is not.
If I take this process a step further and focus on what is driving my fear - I think of another quote:
“Fear is the absence of my Higher Power.”
When I start to feel fear, I need to think about where I am in that moment with my relationship with God.
Is it close to me or is it distant?
If my relationship is close and I am truly turning my will and my life over to my Higher Power, then I have nothing to fear. It is when my relationship is in the distance that I have these feelings of anger, fear, despair within.
Knowing the cause of my emotions help me work through them - helps me on my path to recovery.
Today I can find perspective through putting the pieces of the recovery puzzle together - through reading daily devotionals, slogans and attending Al-Anon recovery meetings.
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As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.
