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Today’s reading is from November 22, page 327 of Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. You can find this book under the “Literature” tab.

Spiritual recovery is so important in becoming healthy once again. As I found myself falling further and further into the sickness that accompanied my wife’s alcoholism, I became someone I barely recognized. Withdrawn, fearful, confused and couldn’t seem to find my way back to ther person I once was. Everyday seemed like I was fighting for survival, my family was falling apart in front of me - how could I have ended up in this situation?

In my desperation to fix the situation, to hide what was going on inside the walls of my home, I found myself acting in ways that now make me wonder who was bottoming our faster - me or my wife?

It wasn’t until I started attending Al-anon that I realized my isolation was self imposed. There were people out there with my same story, same fears and same reactions to their loved one’s drinking. A lot of very unhealthy people just like me!

What struck me when I attended my first Al-anon meeting was although the stories were familiar, the people telling them seemed to be, well, happy. I couldn’t figure out how anyone living with active alcoholics could have it so together. In hind sight it is apparent - the people I met at my first meeting had been in the program for sometime. They had stopped focusing on the alcoholic in their lives and started focusing on healing their spirit. They had connected with their Higher Power and had begun the process of turning their will and their life over.

Understanding these differences allowed me to take my first steps towards healing, my first steps to recovery.

As I will leave each post - If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

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Today’s reading is from November 20, page 325 of Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. You can find this book under the “Literature” tab.

I often wondered if I would ever be able to forgive my wife for her actions while she was actively drinking. I couldn’t conceive ever trusting her again - not after the barrage of lies and deception that goes along with active alcoholism.

How could she do this to our family? To her children? To me!?

My wife was in and out of recovery programs with limited success. I would push, she would go - relapse. Repeat cycle. My wife finally hit bottom on our son’s birthday - she was unconscious when I called the ambulance and was in the ICU for 3 days.

I had hit my bottom as well - and filed for divorce. I didn’t think I could overcome the damage.

My wife entered an in-patient program, without my help, and left a new person - she had connected with her Higher Power and turned over her will and her life. She had finally come to believe that she was an alcoholic, no better no worse, an alcoholic.

It was during the early stages of my wife’s recovery that I realized I needed help as well. I couldn’t understand how my wife could be so happy - wasn’t she aware of all the pain that had been caused? The damage to our relationship and our family? She was aware, but unlike me, she was able to turn her will and her life over to God.

As I saw my wife grow in recovery, my respect for her and support system grew as well. I started attending Al-anon November 25, 2005, and I was able to let go and turn my will and life over to my Higher Power.

The trust I never thought would come back returned. The pain I never thought would go away resided.

Living in recovery, both of us working our own programs and letting go, has allowed our family to stay intact. For that I am grateful.

As I will leave each post - If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

You can find information on Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous under the “Resources” tab.