The Holiday Party And Recovery

It’s that time of the year - every time you turn around there is another invitation.

Old friends, neighbors, the office - everyone is in the mood to celebrate the season.

When my wife was actively drinking, the office holiday party became one of my biggest fears. This was actually the event when I realized my wife had a problem. Normal people didn’t get this drunk in this kind of setting.

I remember just hoping that we could get in and get out without anyone knowing what was really going on.

I have no idea if anyone noticed, there were at least a thousand people at this event - but anyone paying attention would have seen the desperation I’m sure I was wearing on my face.

I hope to never have that feeling again.

Knowing the holiday party scene may not be the healthiest place for you or your alcoholic, how do you maneuver through this social mine field?

For me it is easy - I surround myself with people who truly respect me and my wife for the lifestyle my family has chosen. If there is going to be drinking at the party, I’d prefer my wife not attend, but I trust in her recovery program and her connection with her higher power -  that she will be okay. 

If I attend on my own, I will inevitably get prodded to have a drink. I’ll abstain and if the prodding continues, I’ll discretely tell the person why I’ve chosen a lifestyle of sobriety.  

This choice isn’t because I feel that people can’t drink responsibly - they can and many do. I did.

I choose this lifestyle to support my wife  in her journey of recovery and to provide an example to my children.

Although the worrying co-dependent in me hates to admit this - my children are susceptible to this disease later on in their lives. I want them to know that sobriety is an option.

I feel truly blessed to have so many people in my life that support us in this journey. My wife and I don’t have family where we live - we rely completely on those who were once strangers.

We surround ourselves with our recovery community. Christmas afternoon, my house will be filled with my wife’s support group - her Alcoholics Anonymous family. We may not have the family we were born with in attendance but we will have people that are just as important to us filling the void.

This Alcoholics Anonymous family has taken the role of a father, a brother, a sister, aunt and uncle.

This is how we celebrate the season.

Do you have a topic you would liked discussed on Loving An Alcoholic? Would you like to have your experience and words of encouragement posted?

Send me your thoughts: support@lovinganalcoholic.com

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

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I asked the reader if it was alright to post this topic today and was given the go ahead.

That is the difference between someone who drinks normally and someone who is an alcoholic. The alcoholic can’t simply turn it off like we can.

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

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