Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

By the time I started on my path to recovery, I had found myself in such despair that I felt I may never be happy again. I was tired, weak and was suffering from my own effects of alcoholism - the effects that go along with loving an alcoholic.

My life had changed and I felt as if I had become unrecognizable.

I had turned from being a person of self confidence that felt I had control over my life (and that of others) to being a person that was broken and felt that I may never put it all back together again.

Leading up to Step 6, I had admitted that I couldn’t (control alcoholism), God could and I would let him (Steps 1 - Steps 3). I looked inside myself and took inventory of the person had become (Step 4). I admitted to God, to myself and to another person the exact natures of my wrongs (Step 5).

By the time I reached Step 6, I realized that it was not only the alcoholic in my life that had traveled down the wrong path - I had as well.

Over the years, I had developed unhealthy coping mechanism; the sarcasm, the passive aggressiveness, the codependency, the enabling, the control I would pursue and the angles I worked to give myself a sense of being alright.

Step 6 allows me to cleanse myself of all these defects of character. I recognized that I too needed to change and I was ready for God to intervene.

The 12 Steps of Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous allow for progress and doesn’t require perfection.

In step 6, I have shed my defects of character but it still takes vigilance and work to move forward - to stay on the path of recovery.

I may slip from time to time, but today I can identify when I am falling into old behaviors and ask God to help me move past these character defects.

The following are Step 6 related quotes from Courage To Change - One Day At A Time In Al-Anon II.

“I accept the fact that I need help in being restored to sanity, and that I cannot achieve this without help.” - The Dilemma Of The Alcoholic Marriage

“Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised.” - American Proverb

“I know that help is waiting only for my acceptance, waiting for me to say, not my will but Thine be done.” - The Dilemma Of An Alcoholic Marraige

“God seldom delivers ….virtues wrapped in a package and ready for use. Rather He puts us in situations where by His help we can develop those virtues.” - C.R. Findley

“Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward into the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well.” - Orin L. Crain

“Step six is my chance to cooperate with God. My goal is to make myself ready to let go of my faults and let God take care of the rest.” - Alateen - A Day At A Time

I hope that one of these quotes connected with you.

Would you like to have your experience and words of encouragement posted?

Send me your thoughts: support@lovinganalcoholic.com

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

Today’s reading is from November 14, page 319 of Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II. You can find this book under the “Literature” tab.

I typically attend a Friday night Al-anon meeting but had to skip tonight. Instead, I’m hanging out with 3 four year olds and a teen age son, well, being a teen age son.  3 hours into it - Man, I NEED A MEETING!!!!

I’m grateful to have this outlet and I hope that it helps those reading to know that you aren’t alone.

Today’s reading is on step six “Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character”.

What a great step for those of us who love an alcoholic or addict - God is willing to remove all of our defects of character!?! Can I start with removing my need to control situations, or maybe my co-dependency, perhaps my impatience or my constant need to place expectations on people?

Today I am in a much healthier place than I was when I first walked through the doors of Al-anon 3 years ago (Nov 25. 2005). Not only have I recognized the defects of character I described, I also know that many of us share these common threads. When you go to an Al-anon meeting, you hear your story or a variation of it, over and over again. At one point in time, you thought you were the only one, now you know that there are people like you - not only at your local meeting but at meetings all over the world. Same defects, same issues, same goals to get healthy again.

Today I am aware of, and can acknowledge my defects of character. I ask God to remove them.

I realize this journey is about progress, not perfection. 

As I will leave each post - If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

You can find information on Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous under the “Resources” tab.