Can I ever trust my alcoholic again?

This was a question I knew I had the answer to. It was a no brainer. After being lied to over and over while my wife was actively drinking - the answer was a resounding NO!

How could I ever trust someone who could look me in the eye and promise me she wouldn’t drink again, or worse yet, try to convince me she was sober as her words slurred from her mouth?

How could I trust someone that was still drinking while she was going through recovery?

I couldn’t imagine ever being able to move past the pain my wife had brought into our lives, not in a million years.

I lived in “what if” land.

Credit: Chuck the photographer

My entire reality was based on raw emotion which was based on betrayal. I had pinned all of these feelings on my wife instead of laying the blame where it belonged, on the disease of alcoholism.

I realized that I could love my wife and hate the disease.

As I gained perspective through the support of my recovery program, what was once a million miles away was gradually returning to me.

As my wife worked her recovery program, I was able to look at her as the person I knew before. Those thoughts of distrust were replaced with feelings of pride as we both were progressing on our journey of recovery.

Today I trust my wife unconditionally.

That is not to say if my wife went back to actively drinking that I wouldn’t be disappointed or that I wouldn’t make sure my children were safe. What it does mean is that I can separate my wife from her desiese.

I can still love her and give her the respect we all deserve while hating alcoholism.

Like most of us, my journey of recovery started out very rocky. It wasn’t until I started applying the tools that I learned through Alanon meetings and literature that I started to focus less on my raw emotions immediately at the forefront of my thoughts and more constructive thoughts that allowed me to heal.

Can I ever trust my alcoholic again? It is a no brainer - a resounding YES!

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Alanon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

Custom Search