Taking A Searching And Fearless Moral Inventory Taking A Searching And Fearless Moral Inventory
Step 4 in the Alanon & Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program asks us to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
What a scary thought!
If someone where to ask me what kind of a person I am, and I were to answer honestly, I would say that I am a good person. I was raised to take other’s needs into consideration, to go out of my way to help others, to sacrifice if necessary.
These traits, which I feel make me a good person, also lead to many of my resentments.
If I take a searching and fearless moral inventory, I realize that by putting others needs in front of my own has led me into a pattern of codependency.
Isn’t it amazing how alcoholics and addicts are able to find us so easily?
photo credit: jhartney
My codependent traits led me to believe that if I put all of my focus and energy into getting my wife sober - presto - she’d be sober. What thinking like this did was drain me emotionally and spiritually as my wife relapsed time and time again. It also prevented her from hitting her bottom as I was constantly there to help her fix the messes she was making along the way.
How true is this?
Today I have a better understanding of my patterns and traits that can get in the way of my serenity. One of which is expectations. As I find myself getting frustrated by a situation, I ask myself what my expectations were and whether or not I had the right to put my expectations on someone else.
I practice not having expectations and my life has become much more serene. Today I have an easier time letting life happen on life’s terms. I am not perfect and I do take steps backwards but I now have the tools to understand my character defects and the affects they have on me and my loved ones. I also have the tools to understand that my 12 step program in Alanon is about progress and not perfection.
As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Alanon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.
Stumble it!
Tags: 12 step, addict, addiction, alanon, alcoholics, alcoholics anonymous 12 step program, alcoholism, anon, Codependency, codependent, fearless moral inventory, relapse, resentments, Serenity, spirituality
