Letters From The Inbox - Blind Hope, A Story Of Overcoming & Living Life To The Fullest

**Note, this is a re-post of a story I provided earlier in the week. Since then, the author has reached out to me to provide some additional details in his story of alcoholism, addiction and redemption.**

I received an e-mail the other day from a subscriber to Loving An Alcoholic, Steven C.

Steven has an amazing story that provides hope to both the alcoholic and addict as well as the family member or loved one.

If you’ve ever felt that sobriety was out of reach for you or your loved one - read Steven’s story, ask yourself why this turnaround couldn’t happen for you or your loved one.

After reading this e-mail, I had to take a step back and ask myself - am I really living life?

Steven sure is and living it in sobriety - I want to take his lead!

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The Blind Hope.

Hello my name is Steven C. and am totally blind yet sober.

I had only ten months of sight before I went blind in an Oklahoma prison.

I developed a brain tumor, but since the prison waited to give me a costly Cat-scan to determine the problem, the only option was to remove the tumor by cutting through my optic nerves. Essentially, I became a guinea pig for interns.

Since November 6, 1996 I have been sober.

I went blind in September 17, 1997 and have been sober since. My first 2 years of sobriety while being blind was in prison. So the first ever blind person I met was me. I had to learn how to deal with reality, sobriety while blind with the help of God, the program and other inmates in prison.

I wasn’t raised with a silver spoon in my mouth.

I was a second child in a family of divorce when I was 2 years old. My mom had major drug, alcohol and sex issues and after many drunk boyfriends of hers useing me as a punching bag,  I left Dallas at the age of 11 to eventually end up in Oklahoma.

I grew up thinking if my own mom can’t love me then who can? Why should I listen to authority or this invisible God thing?

Oh, the stories I could tell you of faking it with a good attitude, so I could be an asset to others, while I was dieing on the inside. This actually worked on a bad attitude person like me. After so much time faking past the bad feelings in to doing what is right, I found out that no matter how bad a person feels or how bad the situation is, you can always do the right thing.

What a concept!

I had this cool friend in prison named Brother James. I knew him for 2 months while I was in the prison hospital adjusting to my blindness. I did not know this at the time, but he was black. Here I was a white redneneck with 9 and a half years of locked away in prison.  I learned the wrong way on how and who to hate. Brother James was the only one that would be by my side while in the prison hospital, visiting me, even though he was a inmate as well just cleaning the floors.

Brother James taught me many things but some stood out more than others. While I was dealing with depression, he told me this; to get out my depression, one day at a time, I needed to get active, to get social, no matter what I felt like that day. I needed to find an opportunity to bless someone, to get off my pitty pot and do something constructive.

We use to go to the prison canteen to purchase hard candy in bags. We were always willing to talk to other inmates and would keep the candy on ourselves so we could open the door to their hearts by offering them a kind thought and gift. Wow, what a backwards concept for an selfish self-centered ego tripper like me.

When I was paroled out 2 years later, I took the concept of giving to others in order to get outside of myself.

I started what I call the Dollar Store Ministry - I would get all sorts of candles, statues or other items, walk out like Santa Claus with a huge bag, only spending 20 dollars. I would then pass the gifts out to people I met in Churches, A.A. meetings and even grocery store lines. With my mobility cane, I have even gotten out of a car in a McDonald’s drive through to give a couple some free Mickey D cards. I always had something in my pocket, hip sack or jacket - something to bring a smile to a kid or an adult’s face.

Constructiveness.

Why should I do crap when I’m blind? Nobody cares about me! Frown. If I want to be maximum service to God and man, I have to stop playing the blind pitty card and do something - least I do nothing. So, I learned how to use a mobility cane to go the the stores myself and to navigate better independently.

It gave me such a feeling to be an asset to myself rather than looking like the poor blind guy. Amazingly, I have opened many doors to the sighted world in churches and other organizations.

I have even learned to cook from a gas stove - No crap. Haven’t blown up the neighborhood yet!

I’ve learned Braille, I’m able to sweep and mop floors. I clean my own furniture. Not only do I do our laundry, but  I clean the windows…. even though I don’t look out them. Smile. Please ladies do not use me as an excuse to slap your lazy husband. I do not need the hate mail. Smile.

My father in law bought me a table saw. I’m not sure if he was trying to get rid of me or not. Smile.

I’ve built part of my hot tub decking, a 7 foot lattice wall, several new doors and drilled the new holes for door knobs. I’ve even painted them all by myself - thank you very much.  Smile.

I even occasionally mow my own lawn barefooted so I can tell what I mowed and what I missed. Once, I accidentally mowed half of my neighbors yard. He didn’t seem to mind. smile. I have even built my own 530 stepping stone patio, in which, I have put all my weight lifting equipments on.  I’ve put up a privacy fence around my yard so know one can see me splash in my hot tub.  

If you say I can’t do it….

I’m a very competitive person and will compete with myself to find a way. I haven’t conquered the driving thing - but, I’m working on it!

I too know what it is like to want to give up on sobriety or even life . Brother James, the one I told you about, he died of stomach cancer one year after I was released on parole. The system did to him what they did to me - neglect. His tumor was cancerous. Man did this white redneck ever cry for the loss of Brother James.

The same week, my mother cut her wrist and died after years of alcohol and drug abuse. During this time, one of my closest and best pals was standing on the side of the highway giving directions to a spiritual retreat to the people following her - when a nurse fell asleep behind the wheel, hit and killed my friend on contact.  She had almost 14 years of sobriety.

Then the real one happened - my father who had a stroke in 1995 lost his career, self esteem and will to live. Yet he hung in there until I got out of prison. I moved to Little Rock, Arkansas 17 months after my release to learn more skills at a school for the blind.

Within the next year, my father had seen me fall in love and move on with life. He mailed me a money order, a package of all his worth’s; will, home certificate, insurance policy - he unplugged all his electrical items, paid all his bills 3 months in advance. He put his ID next to his phone with my name, address and phone number. He looked at us, his kids. The photo, I assume he moved off his mirror next to his phone. He laid back and put one calf over the other -put his hand gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

I was in Kentucky when the police officer called my from Oklahoma. I fell apart so bad. I wanted to get drunk and thus take my own life like my parents did.

I felt God right then tell me; “Steve, what if you drink and do not kill yourself?  Would you want to start this recovery all over again after all of this time?” That sober minded me up - I called everyone I could to cry and scream. When I arrived in Oklahoma,  I was in dad’s house and feeling so bad. I remembered Brother James telling me how to get out of my head.

I called everyone I knew in A.A. and the churches - even a few guys across the street cutting trees for a neighbor. I told them to take most of everything that was not nailed down - to donate the items to people in need.

It helped me get through the funeral and the next 2 months.

I assume we are created to handle anything that comes our way. It is always to soon to give up!

Yes there is more, but like I was told; well done is truly better than well said - so here is more of what God has blessed this blind guy with;

I did have a lot of hostility and hatred for the whole God thing. I thought He blinded me cause of my past wrongs, sins or mistakes. It took along time, but by listening to others, it always seemed to come back to having to take responsibility for my own mistakes, screw ups and wrongs.

Darn the luck!

When I made this adjustment,  I was able to remove that obstacle that has been in the way of being service to God an man. Since then I can share this awesome stuff with you.

Remember I was an ex-con, ex-biker and a ex-practicing drunk.

 I spent nine and a half years of my life locked away in prisons and jails. I can’t lie about that when there is access to websites to prove my insanity. Kidnappings, arm robbery, hostage, extortions, drug possessions and distributing. 9 assaults and battery’s. Insighting 2 riots in McAllister prison and even ont their own D.O.C. bus.

Would God have given me blindness and then lead me to a life of fullfillment? Well!

Now, I have been married on the beach of Honolulu where 3 days later I stepped out of a plane over Honolulu 14,000 ft high. I independently surfed on the beach of Waikiki Hawaii, climbed Diamond back Volcano 1.8 miles high by myself with the help of just God and my cane.

I skied down Aspen Snowmass Mountain 12,000 ft. high - what a rush! I did crash once, five feet in the air, doing a 180 - thinking the whole time; No tree, No tree! 

I climbed both Maya Pyramids in Latin Mexico - one was so steep I had to come down on my butt.  I repelled down Coba cliffs, climbed hand in hand up Jamaica falls where I was the second person behind the guide with 27 people behind me - not giving up because they knew I was blind.

I rode simple electronic bull in Florida, hang glided 2,000 ft. high over Orlando Florida, climbed a 40foot climbing wall on a Caribbean cruise, motorize hang glided over the ocean of Cancun Riviera, rode horses on the same beach of the Riviera. Way cool.

Rode Dolphins in the beach of Cancun, slip tongued a darn sea lion thinking it was my wife Selena going to kiss me. Yuck! Did get her number though. No, you can’t read my step four!!

Jumped on a 20 foot Whale shark. Man that hurt! Thank God he didn’t take it personal! Posed with the Dallas cheerleaders, what a feeling! Smile.

Got to hand play with a white Siberian Tiger and 2 baby gorillas. What a cute guy. He took off my 350lbs club hat and put it on. Yes I power lift and am in the 350lbs bench press, squat and dead lift club at only 195lbs of body weight. God is good.

I was blessed to fly an Nessna propeller in Tulsa. I even hit my own wake twice - accidentally pulled the nob and turned the darn thing off. I learned not to touch things I Know nothing about! Smile. Para-sailed over the Bahama’s at a tad 400 foot high. Tiny stuff compared to others. Smile.

Looking forward to climbing Mount Everest like this other blind guy did - Eric.

I posed and arm wrestled Mr. Universe, I let him win. OK. I’m working at being honest.

I posed with Martin Sheen, Yakef Smirnoff and Joyce Meyer of JM international ministry. I posed with Congressmen and Senators in the House of Representatives in DC and actually much more.

One reason why we take pictures every where we go to show what God is doing in a blind guys life and proof as well. It has to be a God thing to take me to places I never would of dreamed of or thought God would have me go.

If I can do anything to help encourage people to keep on keeping on,  no matter of what life is throwing at them, just write me anytime at fire242@sbcglobal.net.

I am never too busy to give back what God has given me for fun and for free.

Yeppers, I have pictures of everything I said to prove God is Good!.

Thanks and stay sober.

Steven C AKA. Brett what used to be in prison, Rock

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Wow, what a story!

Would you like to have your experience and words of encouragement posted?

Send me your thoughts: support@lovinganalcoholic.com

******PLEASE INDICATE IN YOUR EMAIL IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR THOUGHTS POSTED******

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

The mission of Loving An Alcoholic is to provide hope, encouragement and resources to family members and those who love an alcoholic or addict.

As a reminder - you didn’t cause your loved one’s alcoholism or addiction, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it (the three C’s).

Finding and ultimately staying on the path of recovery is up to the alcoholic or addict in your life - and their Higher Power.

If an alcoholic is unwilling to get help, what can you do about it?

In today’s post, you will find some suggestions provided on the NIAAA (National Institute On Alcohol Abuse & Alcoholism) of the National Institutes of Health.

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This can be a challenge. An alcoholic can’t be forced to get help except under certain circumstances, such as a traffic violation or arrest that results in court-ordered treatment. But you don’t have to wait for someone to “hit rock bottom” to act. Many alcoholism treatment specialists suggest the following steps to help an alcoholic get treatment:

Stop all “cover ups.” Family members often make excuses to others or try to protect the alcoholic from the results of his or her drinking. It is important to stop covering for the alcoholic so that he or she experiences the full consequences of drinking.

Time your intervention. The best time to talk to the drinker is shortly after an alcohol-related problem has occurred–like a serious family argument or an accident. Choose a time when he or she is sober, both of you are fairly calm, and you have a chance to talk in private.

Be specific. Tell the family member that you are worried about his or her drinking. Use examples of the ways in which the drinking has caused problems, including the most recent incident.

State the results. Explain to the drinker what you will do if he or she doesn’t go for help–not to punish the drinker, but to protect yourself from his or her problems. What you say may range from refusing to go with the person to any social activity where alcohol will be served, to moving out of the house. Do not make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.

Get help. Gather information in advance about treatment options in your community. If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an appointment with a treatment counselor. Offer to go with the family member on the first visit to a treatment program and/or an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

Call on a friend. If the family member still refuses to get help, ask a friend to talk with him or her using the steps just described. A friend who is a recovering alcoholic may be particularly persuasive, but any person who is caring and nonjudgmental may help. The intervention of more than one person, more than one time, is often necessary to coax an alcoholic to seek help.

Find strength in numbers. With the help of a health care professional, some families join with other relatives and friends to confront an alcoholic as a group. This approach should only be tried under the guidance of a health care professional who is experienced in this kind of group intervention.

Get support. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Support groups offered in most communities include Al-Anon, which holds regular meetings for spouses and other significant adults in an alcoholic’s life, and Alateen, which is geared to children of alcoholics. These groups help family members understand that they are not responsible for an alcoholic’s drinking and that they need to take steps to take care of themselves, regardless of whether the alcoholic family member chooses to get help.

You can call the National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Routing Service (Center for Substance Abuse Treatment) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for information about treatment programs in your local community and to speak to someone about an alcohol problem.

Link to NIAAA http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/FAQs/General-English/default.htm#disease

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Would you like to have your experience and words of encouragement posted?

Send me your thoughts: support@lovinganalcoholic.com

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.

The alcoholic in my life has stopped drinking - what now?

For many of us, we couldn’t ask for anything more - for the alcoholic in our lives to stop drinking.

When my wife was active, I would think that if she would only stop, that everything would be alright. We could go back to being a family again - all would return back to normal.

I’ve mentioned many times that I was pretty naive about alcoholism and the affects the disease had on me, my wife and my family.

This too was another example of my naivety.

When my wife found recovery - I immediately saw the overwhelming change occurring in her.

She was taking her life back - and a lot of her taking her life back excluded me.

I was sitting on the sidelines stuck in the same place I had been for sometime - confused, scared and without direction.

My prayers had been answered but there was still a void within me.

My wife had made the decision to choose sobriety but I was still holding on to old behaviors - still holding on to the thought that this was my wife’s disease instead of coming to terms with alcoholism as the family disease.

As I started to work on my own recovery through reading literature, contemplating the slogans and attending Al-Anon meetings - the void began to fill. I was starting to get healthy again.

I look back from time to time and regret that I hadn’t found this path sooner - while my wife was actively drinking. I can only imagine how I would have handled things differently. I’m sure my lows wouldn’t have been low and my reactions wouldn’t have been as strong.

As I gain experience in my own personal recovery from codependency, the need to control and the need to enable - I’ve witnessed a common mistake many of us who love an alcoholic make.

The alcoholic in my life has stopped drinking - what now?

For some, the answer to this question is to take a break from our path of recovery.

Think about this - the alcoholic in your life is finally on the path after all of this time, your prayers have been answered, and now we have decided to a break.

How does this make sense?

Today, I realize that I have work to do regardless if my wife is sober or actively drinking. When I am not active in my own recovery program - I start to slip into old behaviors.

The self-pity and self-doubt become more a part of my life.

Why would I want to go back to that when I have a choice? The choice for me is simple - to make the literature and regular Al-Anon meetings a part of my life.

Like the alcoholic - I realize that if I don’t go to meetings and I don’t put in the work, it is easy for me to slip.

When I go to bed an night, I sleep better knowing that my wife is working a good recovery program.

Why would I ask anything less of myself?

Would you like to have your experience and words of encouragement posted?

Send me your thoughts: support@lovinganalcoholic.com

As I will leave each post; If you, or someone you know, loves an alcoholic or addict, I would encourage you to find a local Al-Anon 12 step meeting to attend. This is your first step towards healing.